Finding Fanfiction
by mynamemattersnot
Summary: House and the team discover Fanfiction and are surprised by what they find.
1. Romance

**Finding Fanfiction**

 **Chapter One: Romance:**

 **Author's Note: Another one of these! I don't own House or any of the characters. Please read and review.**

House couldn't believe what he just read on a mysterious website called fanfiction. How it was possible he didn't know but there were thousands upon thousands of stories about him and the team and Wilson and Cuddy. He had to show the others this website because clearly they deserved to know that they're all being stalked.

He paged them all starting with Wilson. Wilson especially deserved to know what people thought of him. According to fanfiction, he was gay and was the "female" of every relationship. He was thought to be with House and sometimes, every once in a while, Chase.

They all arrived.

 **(House MD)**

"People think we're gay?" Wilson asked outraged and disgusted by the idea.

"People think I'm gay, too, but I'm not gay with you or with House." Chase said frowning.

"At least, sometimes you're with Cameron."

"And sometimes you're with Cuddy."

"I don't even like Cuddy that way!"

House laughed clearly not too bothered of being thought gay.

Thirteen and Cameron exchanged glanches when they read their girl on girl romance.

"That is so hot!" House said excitedly. "Oh, here's one of Thirteen and Cuddy."

Cuddy looked furious.

"House, did you write this?!" Cuddy asked angrily.

"I wish I did." House said honestly, "And if I did you two would be covering each other with chocolate sauce."

Thirteen was unfazed even though she wasn't ready into Cameron or Cuddy. She was bisexual which means she should be portrayed as bisexual. It made sense.

Then they got to a Foreman and House story and everyone looked sick.

"My god! How do people come up with this and how do they know about us at all?" Wilson asked.

Next they came to the guy/girl stories which was dominated by House and Cuddy romance. Cuddy looked a bit uncomfortable and House hid his emotions. There were seas of "Huddy" romance.

Wilson laughed, "You two are so cute together!"

Cuddy blushed a bit and House frowned. It wasn't something they thought of in a long while but when reading it they seemed to just work. They both pushed the idea of each other together out of their minds.

Then came the "Hameron" stories. Some were continuations of their one date they had together. Cameron didn't approve. She was with Chase now, not House. She realized that she said that out loud. House smirked and Chase pulled her close.

There were several pairings that seemed impossible but worked really well in the stories. They read together. Everyone wanted to see what more stories there was about them especially House causing him to scroll onto the humor and parody stories.

Then they read together.

 **Author's Note: Please vote on whether or not to do Huddy romance as I can't decide for myself. Hope you liked the story and will probably update. Review please.**


	2. Humor and Parody

**Chapter Two: Humor and Parody:**

 **Author's Note: Hope you enjoy this new chapter! I don't own House or the characters so please don't sue. Don't forget to read and review.**

House laughed hard at the ridiculousness of the stories they were reading. Some of them were about animals being snuck into the hospital which sure gave House an idea. Cuddy already knew he was planning something.

"You bring animals to my hospital, you're getting a week of uninterrupted clinic duty!" Cuddy warned.

House didn't care. He actually wanted to see Cuddy angry more than he wanted extra clinic duty, which of course, wasn't much.

They all took a break to do some actual work. After receiving a case, House did a differential and sent his team away. He then snuck out of the hospital and found a place to purchase large chickens. He then quickly got back to the hospital and set them free. The chickens that didn't immediately run outside caused quite a ruckus inside.

Several people purposely avoided them. Some tripped over them. Some didn't even care. Some were curious as to how some chickens got in. It was a hilarious scene. He returned to the Fanfiction sight for more ridiculous ideas for fun.

He found a way to shave Chase's hair and super glue it to Foreman's head. Seeing their confusion was quite a riot!

"What up, my homies." He greeted as Foreman and Cuddy both angrily walked in.

"House!" Cuddy shouted in disapproval.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You're not black. I was fifty percent right."

"You are to remove all chickens in my hospital! I don't care how! Then you're doing clinic duty for the rest of the day!"

"But I have a case!" House whined.

"Foreman will take care of the case. The case belongs to Foreman now. Oh and I believe you owe him and Chase an apology.

Somehow, even after so much trouble was caused, House found a way to keep reading Fanfiction. So many authors claimed there would be cookies if a review was left. Kutner was the only naive enough to try. One week passed, no cookies. Two months passed, no cookies. Kutner gave up somewhat disappointed.

Then there were so many heartwarming stories about the that made Cameron smile and House cringe, especially the holiday stories. He did like the Holloween stories especially the ones were they were all in the zombie apocalypse. House also like the ones about the hospital being haunted by ghosts.

Then they all gasped in surprise at the gender bent stories. House smirked and clicked in ready for what was to come.

 **Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Do forget to review and remember none of the characters are mine. I did write this story though. Please don't sue and no flames.**


	3. Gender Bent

**Chapter Three: Gender Bent:**

 **Author's Note: I'm finally back with some more hilarious humor! I hope you like it! I don't own House or the characters so don't sue.**

Whoever thought that he was hot as a woman. The way House was discribed was gorgeous. Foreman was disappointed to discover he still had hair issues. He looked like a black Amber Rose. Chase was flawless of course. Pretty both as a woman and as a man. Wilson made a good woman and wasn't all that different than he actually was which disappointed him greatly.

"I am not like a woman!" He exclaimed.

"According to this website and reality, you are most definitely like a woman." House retorted.

"And how do you feel to be portrayed as a female?"

"Great especially since I have big boobs."

Kutner and Tuab were pretty much the same but slightly more girly. Then there was Cuddy, Cameron, and Thirteen being portrayed as men. Thirteen smiled.

"If I wasn't myself, I would date me as a man." Thirteen stated.

"Oh the joys of being bisexual." House smirked.

Cuddy and Cameron both made pretty handsome men. Cuddy didn't really appreciate herself as a man. She was proud to be a woman.

"I like myself better the way I am." Cuddy admitted.

"Me too. Boobs and ass are better than sticks. More?"

Thirteen nodded. The others stayed quite but House clicked ahead anyways.

They all prepared themselves for what they were going to find next.

 **Author's Note: A short one but hopefully a good one. Please review and thanks for reading. No flames please.**


	4. Sick!

**Chapter Four: Sick!:**

 **Author's Note: Okay, I'm here! I don't own House or the characters.**

House cringed. All these stories had him or Wilson get some serious disease and struggle through it.

"Why do I have to always get hurt or sick? Do they have fun torturing the poor cripple?" House said.

"Apparently, they love torturing their favorite characters." Thirteen stated.

"Did you all here that? I'm the favorite!" House said excitedly doing a little dance.

"Only because you're the main character." Wilson stated.

"Of course I'm the main character! The show is called House. If it were called Wilson it would be all about divorce lawyers and broken hearts."

"Whoever played you must have been a great actor. How else would he be so cold hearted."

"Relax Wilson, I was just poking fun."

"I think I want to google our actors."

House googled himself and found he was played by Hugh Laurie.

"Oh my god! I'm british!" House shouted surprised.

"Isn't that the actor from Staurt Little?" Kutner asked.

"It is! It's the dad!" Thirteen replied.

"I would love to hear how the unlucky number saw Staurt Little." House said.

"What about me?" Kutner asked.

"You're basically a giant kid. It's obvious how you saw that movie."

"The DvD was a gift from my dad." Thirteen stated.

"Boring! I would have thought it was a gift from your ex lover."

"Well, I guess I'm boring then."

"But at least you're entertaining in the stories. Who wants to read more Thirteen girl on girl romance?"

All the males and Thirteen's hands shot up. Cameron and Cuddy remained still.

"The boys have it!" House exclaimed earning a dirty look from Thirteen.

 **Author's Note: Next chapter will be a Thirteen chapter. Just warning you there will be slash. Hope you liked this chapter! No flames please!**


	5. All About Thirteen

**Chapter Five: All About Thirteen**

 **Author's Note: Back! Sorry it took so long but I'm finally back! i don't own House or its characters.**

Who would have known Thirteen was this interesting? Between all the girls, guys, and drugs; Thirteen was very fascinating.

"Wow and I thought I was an addict!" House exclaimed.

"I'm not an addict! I'm not that into drugs anymore." Thirteen replied.

"So that means there was a time where you were that into drugs."

"No, I-"

"No use lying. I already knew."

"How can you know that?"

"I paid a lot of money to that coffee machine repair man."

"You had your private investigator snoop around my personal life? Is there anything else that he told you?"

"Nope," House lied.

"I know you're lying, House."

"Good for you. You caught me. You going to arrest me officer? Strap me down to a bed? Do naughty stuff?"

Thirteen slapped him in the face. House fell over to the ground and the rest of the fellows held Thirteen back. House gets up slowly and holds his hands up like he was waiting for the police.

"Wow, you are far more interesting than the stories depict!"

"Stay out of my personal life!"

House smirked. The number thirteen was the best number. Who knew what else he would find.

 **Author's Note: Short I know but the next chapter will come soon so don't worry. Anyways, thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave a review. 8D!**


	6. Tiny Taub

**Chapter Six: Tiny Taub:**

 **Author's Note: Now to make fun of Taub. XD! I don't own Taub or any of the other characters. I also don't own "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" which is briefly mentioned in this chapter. Please read and review!**

One story claimed Taub was tinier than a mouse. House laughed aloud. Taub was definitely small, but a mouse? That was hilarious.

"I am _not_ that small!" Taub argued unhappily.

"Well, the story says you are!"

"We all know that these stories are inaccurate!"

In the next story, Taub was microscopic.

"Me? Microscopic? You got to be kidding me?!"

Taub was disappointed. Taub knew he was on the smaller side, but microscopic? You have got to be kidding me!

House was throughly entertained. First, Thirteen and now _"tiny"_ Taub. Fanfiction was great! Well, sometimes...

Taub is short!

Taub is short!

Taub is short!

Taub the mini stud.

It was like "Honey I Shrunk the Kids", but with Taub. That was a movie where a guy builds a shrink ray and it shrinks his kids and the neighbors' kids.

Taub hated it. House loved it. The next victim was Kutner.

 **Author's Note: Short I know but I hope you've enjoyed it anyways. Please review! 8D!**


	7. The Man Child

**Chapter Seven: The Man Child:**

 **Author's Note: I'm back! Sorry this took so long but here I am. :P I don't own House or its characters.**

The next few stories depicted Kutner playing with toys like a five year old. House laughed. Thirteen looked entertained. Foreman had his same stoic reaction as always. Kutner looked extremely upset.

"I do _not_ play with toys! I admit to playing video games but other adults do that too!" Kutner said with annoyance.

"Video games are toys unless you are playing Guitar Hero." House said.

"I can't believe this!" Kutner said outraged.

"Now only if they depicted you watching Dora the Explorer or playing Poly Pocket, then the story would be interesting."

"I'm not a little girl!"

"Not just the girls watch Dora. My male cousin used to watch it as a kid." Thirteen stated.

"I am not him though!"

"Yes, you are but bigger." House said smirking.

He was loving every moment of this. He began scrolling through more stories trying to find more interesting material.

House started out looking for Wilson stories.

 **Author's Note: So any ideas are welcome and feedback but no flames please! Thanks for reading!**


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